Motherhood

What is motherhood? A gift? A calling? A service? A job?

I think motherhood is a gift, it’s a gift that many woman want, and some get. 

From the moment you feel the first kick, you know nothing else comes close... and then you see his face, you see her stop crying the moment her cheek touches yours - barely seconds out of the womb; you see the eyes that fixes upon yours as they suckle at your breast... and you feel so completely loved.. This tiny human who you felt from within before you set eyes on them.

And then they crawl, they walk, they get weaned off... and they don’t need us so much anymore. With each step they take, it’s a step towards independence. They make their own choices, their own friends.. but they need us still, although it may be from afar. 

Do we resent them for wanting meat instead of suckling at our breast?

Do we envy them for their sparkly eyes when they see their dad? Sparkles that’s mirrored on his eyes to see his kids? Or do we sit back and enjoy the view before us?

Then they grow up, do we resent it if one child does better than the other? Is made worse if the child who excels shares our spouses personality, rather than ours? Do we favour the child who is more like ourselves?

And they fall in love - do we have limitations on the spouse they choose? Do we resent them if they choose different from our perceived station of life that we have determined for them? Are we insecure if they choose a spouse who we are unable to fault? Do we resent them if their spouse respects them, cares for them, cares for their family and is gracious even to us? Are we unable to keep our thrones to lord over our kids and their family if they graciously include us, and don’t ask us for anything, except to continue to love them? Do we resent it that our help is no longer needed? Will we be unable to wish them well, and enjoy the grandkids and the gifts and holiday, without somehow resenting their happiness?

Must our love for our kids be limited by how good it makes us look? 

Are we able to let them shine, on their own, knowing, in our hearts that they’ve heard our heartbeat from within - and unless we do things to show that we are not happy for them - they will always know that they are where they are because of us - not in spite of us?