Are you there God? It's me....

Sometimes it feels like God's turned His face from us, like when Jesus had all the sins of the world upon himself, and God turned away.

When things that I thought couldn't get any worse, does get worse - I sometimes wonder if He's still there, or if He's turned away....

Why God. Are you there God? How can it be God?

But His ways are higher than our ways; and this, we can understand - as parents, we often do things that the kids don't understand; but that's because we know things they don't. Sometimes we even let them fall, we let them fight, we let them make mistakes - we know our advice will not be heeded unless it is sought after.

The Bible is given freely, but how many actually read it? So is it surprising that God speaks to those who seek Him, when we seek Him?

SO a few days ago I was checking if God was there, listening to me still - so I made a random request. For a particular person to call my husband. I say my husband cos, he's not chatty. People usually only look for him to get something done. So he doesn't get random calls. And not just a random call, by a person of my choosing. The day after, that person did call. Goosebumps.

So God checked in :)

He's still there. He reminded me that He's answered every time I call. It's me who's been too busy for Him, trying to do it all on my own, and constantly being too tired to enjoy the blessings He's given me. 

He chose me before I chose Him (John 15:16)

Psalm 27:10 says even if our father and mother forsake us, God never will.

Finally, Isaiah 43:2 says, 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

So He's there, call Him.

12 years married

12 hours of day and 12 hours of night, 12 months in a year and 12 constellations of the zodiac, 12 sons of Jacob and the 12 apostles of Jesus. Our birthdays are 12 days apart too.

Somehow, the universe seems to indicate that we've come a full cycle.

And I believe we have. Done with childbearing and foundation setting years, it seems to be time to start building our legacy.

It feels, in a lot of ways, that we have grown by leaps and bounds in these 12 years together. We've stood by each other through sickness and health, for richer and poorer, for better and for worse - and through this journey I have realised, that God indeed has plans for our lives and the reward for trusting Him with our will cannot be quantified. I also realised that there is no way I could have found someone so perfectly made for me if I had looked for him myself. It's only by surrendering to God, that He revealed His plans for me.

Marriage is like a plate of Briyani, say the Kandasamys; and I couldn't agree more. We've bit into our fair share of cardamoms, but it's an enjoyable dish, paired with sambar for him and pickled vegetables for me. 

We've shifted house 6 times,  across 3 states, taken care of an elderly parent, have 3 kids - but the one constant is we remained best friends; always putting each other second only to God.

Has the glow of newly wedded bliss worn off? I think that's a load of crap. Getting adjusted to a new person and living with them is NOT EASY. The good news is, it gets better with time. After 12 years, I can honestly say its seamless. I know he loves me, I've seen him take care of me, and if the years ahead are even more turbulent (as they usually are), I have faith that the One who brought us together, will see us through.

My Partner, My Love, My Friend.... this one's for you.