Many years ago, a preacher came to our church. At the end of the service, she had an alter call.
When she prayed for me, she asked, "Why are you not surrendering your will to God? Do you think what you want, is better than what He has in store for you?"
I was not expecting that; to be rebuked, maybe; to be shamed, maybe. But to be spoken to like a friend, a person.... no. It broke me.
I met God, the one who is my friend.
And that day, was the beginning of my life as it is now.
Many times, I did what I knew was right; but I couldn't explain it. It was not in the ways of the village in which I was brought up. Rather than explain myself, I let people judge; they were going to, anyway. I learnt to walk alone.
Actually, I always did walk alone, but I walked alone in a crowd.
Now I learnt, to walk alone with God.
What God has had in store for me was infinitely greater than what I had hoped for or imagined. However, it is a daily journey of faith.
Even now, to rejoice when I'm still in the wilderness; is the peace and joy that can only come from knowing God, and trusting in His will. The thing is, when we choose to follow God, we really need to leave everything else behind. Things that distract us, people who have their demands and expectations of us, it's all got to be left behind. No one can please 2 masters.
The reward isn't money or riches, though He doesn't hold that back either. The reward is sleep, it's peace, it's love, it's this moment that we can be present in. It's thanking God for knowing the number of hair on my head - He's so in the details it astounds me. After 38 years, many of my relatives can't even get my name spelt right.
