Mary and Martha

Oh how this passage has spoken to me so many times, at so many different stages of my life - and now, again.

Anyone who knows me, know I'm a Martha. Growing up, it's almost expected of me, to be the one to prepare the drinks, clean, help in the kitchen - not only in my house but also in that of aunties and uncles. I never thought twice about it - until at one particular family holiday, I noticed that among all the nieces and nephews I was singled out to help in the kitchen. It's almost expected of me; and when that choice was not mine to make, I resented it.

Now a few days ago, this was the passage discussed in our family devotion. 

Obviously, I was of the opinion that Martha was the host and had to see to the preparations of the feast she prepared for her guests. And why did Jesus rebuke her for wanting help? I mean Mary chose what's more important and it won't be taken from her, etc...

But in doing so, Jesus implied that the fellowship was more important than the feast. I mean he could feed five thousand with five loaves - he meant what he said. When Jesus rebuked Martha, He said Mary has chosen what's more important - implying Martha chose to do the work, but in giving her a choice He also gave her a chance to sit at His feet instead of being busy with the preparations.

Now, my husband was leading in the scripture reading, and he looked directly at me, and said, "did it ever occur to you, that Jesus spoke that way to Martha because He loved her so much? He was willing to 'make do' with whatever was prepared or not prepared, as long as Martha heard the message? He didn't want Martha to miss out."

I felt butterflies in my stomach.

Because at that moment, I realised that that's exactly what he does, for me.

He's never expected me to be Martha, in fact, many times he has rebuked me for being a Martha and not choosing to 'be' instead of to 'do'. Not only that, when I choose to 'be', he quietly helps me with whatever needs to be done so I won't end up 'doing' whatever I put off earlier. It wouldn't have been the feast I imagined but it would have been good food with great memories. The house would probably not have been cleaned the way I wanted before the guest arrived, but it would have been good enough.

I realised (after 12 years of being married to him) that he never expected anything from me, but to be his friend and his partner.

And when I gave up my job in the corporate world to raise our son, the only time I chose to be Mary, was the best decision I ever made. He fully supported it; but even then, he did not ask me to give up my career. He let me choose, and I chose to be with our child instead of work for the money, and he said I chose what is better and let me have it.

Oh what love.

He truly loves me like Christ loves the church.