Poor Me

I recently realised that I had unwittingly fallen into the trap of telling myself that I was a victim. 

I opened my old fashioned journal, to vent out the injustices done to me and along the way as I read my old entries, I realised that I had become that person whom I so despised, someone who blamed everyone for everything; as if I had no control over my life or anything that happened to me or even what I could achieve in the future.

I also realised that I had, and was still, doing myself a great injustice; and would live my life just going through the motions only to arrive at my deathbed filled with regrets - if I didn't renew my mind, and give myself a wake up call, now.

It also hit me that having a victim mentality is popular; as we get sympathy and many ears are willing listeners to our sad stories- almost as if it makes them feel better about their lives. 

No one looks at a person who seems to have it altogether; and thinks she could do with a coffee, or a call, or a friend. 

The thing is, we are all human; we could all do with a coffee, a call, or a friend. Most times, however, no one thinks of us unless we dress haggard, look tired, or have tardiness as our middle name. 

Or if we have a sad story to share to get people's pity, and give them something to talk about to the next person; inadvertently making them feel like someone has it worse than them thus making them feel better about their own lives.

And when we do have it all together - even if its hanging together by a thread, no one expects you to have anything bad to say about anything in your life - as it would appear as 'ungrateful' instead of 'human'.

So instead of being someone who is largely grateful and thankful with life and its many blessings, but having my own cross to bear none the less; I became someone who focused on the cross and the blessings blurred in the background.

The moment this realisation hit me, it was as if I got a new lease on life. I started having more productive days and a more positive attitude. Sadly, my phone conversations have reduced. No one wants to hear about my new found lease of life; and they too only want to talk about their sad stories which they don't want to continue if I am more optimistic with them and encourage them to join me in shifting our focus.

This journey is a long one and can get challenging for each of us; yet its our duty to our self to be well groomed and to be the best version of ourselves that we can be, daily, - no matter how we feel; in spite of how we feel actually. 

The worse we feel our circumstances are, the more optimistic we should be; as it can only get better.