I’ve been an unhappy participant in my life for almost a year now, and most days I’ve been just going about doing things that need to be done to get through the day so I can sleep. It’s not been fun, it’s frankly been depressing and I really feel like I don’t know where we are headed or how are we getting there.
I’ve not been able to pray, to play, to dream, to laugh; without a leach sucking my happiness and it’s presence, though not painful, drains blood and is a disturbance.
Why do I allow it to affect me so?
I know nothing will happen to me, I know I can continue on my journey undisturbed. I need to focus my eyes on Jesus. I need to trust my husband that he knows what he’s doing and he will protect me.
Lord please help this stubborn, control freak to surrender and to trust you. Please teach me to lean on you. Please give me back my rest, my laughter and most of all... your peace & favour.